A Lighter Aretha

February 7, 2008 / Posted by:

Aretha Franklin gave an interview to the Associated Press where she talked about how she’s feeling much lighter these days thanks to a trainer. Aretha will perform at the Grammys this Sunday with Mary J. Blige. She’s also getting ready to release a new album on her label, Aretha’s Records. What a creative name. She should have called it Two Squirrels Fighting Under A Blanket Records instead.

She said, “I’ve got a new trainer, and she’s giving me a lot of good things, really educating me about nutrition and weight loss and how to do it, and cooking stuff for you. I’m not on a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. I’m going to be doing it for the long run. And eventually I’ll reach my goal.”

I’m guessing her goal is when she can finally see her toes. Aretha went on,” I feel lighter. I’m not as heavy, what you get with the red meat. You dragging yourself along when you have all that red meat. Much lighter. I feel a lot lighter, and a lot better.”

I love Aretha no matter what. I just pray that those enormous breastes go nowhere. I also pray that she wears a low-cut dress at the Grammys on Sunday. That would make my February. Screw the dress! I hope she comes in pasties.

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