Rihanna’s Umbrella

February 5, 2008 / Posted by:

Rihanna was at Macy’s in NYC today whoring out her umbrella collection. She’s just making that money. I’m a little disappointed that the umbrella isn’t covered with her picture with the words “ella ella” written all over it and that it doesn’t play her song when open it followed with a voice-over telling you that her album is in stores now. Her marketing team is slacking.

The alien princess is looking darling as always. I just want to pinch her cute cheeks and then kick her in the shins. I’ll ignore the fact that her shoes don’t match her make-up which really bothers me. What kind of homo is styling her? Her new hair is very Zac Efron, very alter boy.

That umbrella may not play music, but it’s still pretty gay looking. Sorry, I only carry the cheap ass $3 umbrellas from the deli. They always seem to turn inside out when you need them most which makes it really easy to abandon them in cabs. No commitment umbrellas.

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