David Beckham’s Emporio Armani panty ads have reportedly been sending straight and gay dudes to salons asking for the “boyzillian.” That’s when they wax everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Including your fucking dignity.
One 44-year-old father recently had his back, crack and nutsack waxed because of the ads. He told the Guardian, “Of course it is slightly painful, but in my experience not nearly as sore as having your chest waxed. It’s much better than shaving it, too. You don’t get those awkward nicks and it doesn’t grow back anything like as quickly.” One salon owner said that she used to wax 3 dudes a week and now she’s doing 3 a day thanks to David Beckham. She said they all mention him.
No wonder Becks talks like Minnie Mouse. What these idiots don’t realize is that he probably got smooth thanks to the help of Photoshop. Although, I can see Posh forcing him to get his nuts waxed. What am I saying? What nuts?! She already took those. She probably had them implanted into her tits.
You will never see me getting my business waxed. That is weird. I only let strange men I meet on Craigslist shave my naughty bits. That’s what a normal person does!