Hit Me Baby One More Time

UsWeekly has a hilarious story about Britney Spears visiting an elementary school. I find it hard to believe only because the paparazzi live in her vagina and would be all over this. A source told Us that Brit Brit showed up dressed like a slut to pick up some kids at a Beverly Hills school.

On January 7th, she was smoking for 10-minutes at 3pm waiting for school to let out. A source said she was talking to herself.

A witness said, “She was just rambling and confused. She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’” When school finally let out, Britney started causing a commotion making some of the kids freak out.

Before driving off Britney told the witness, “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”

Schools everywhere should send out a memo warning kids to stay away from any chain-smoking, British speaking, stained up, crazy people offering them a free Frapp. In order to save some money they can recycle the old Unabomber sketch and add a ciggie and a frapp to it. She sorts of looks like him.