Meet the lovely Jean Mansel from Oakfield Township, Michigan. Jean received what has to be one of the hottest ransom notes in history. It seems that a few of Jean’s neighbors are pissed off, because they believe she’s not picking up her dog’s shit. They have kidnapped her statute of Jesus which was in her front yard and are holding it ransom. She received a phone call from a raspy voice. The voice told her to check her mailbox. She did and found this note:
“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”
I really hope Jean puts that shit on eBay, because I will bid on it, frame it and put it over my toilet. That note has so many things going for it: poopies, wieners and Jesus!
Jean claims she picks up her dog’s shit and just wants her Jesus statue back. It’s a family heirloom. She said, “It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that. And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh.”
In the name of wiener poopie! Give Jean her Jesus back!