Dreamboat Doherty is currently training for the London Marathon. He’s serious about it. The problem is his t-shirts keep chaffing his nipples during training leaving them sore. Petey has solved the problem by wearing his girlfriend’s titty holders. I can’t even say his girlfriend’s name. I’m disgusted by her. The hussy!
A source said, “He’s doing so well. He’s really serious about kicking drugs and this is really testing his will power and giving him a goal. All that is putting him off are his amazingly sore nipples, but Portia’s underwear is really helping.”
“Pete is showing the same devotion to marathon now as he did do to drugs. It’s a much healthier obsession than heroin.” Um…no it isn’t. Running sucks!
You know what the best cure for sore nipples is? A little flick of the tongue and brush of the butthole. His girlfriend ain’t shit! She should be tending to those nipples like she’s Florence Nightingale and his nipples have leprosy. Don’t give him a bra! Give him a little pussy juice on the nip. Some people.
I bet you Dreamboat wears that bra anyway. He’s kinky like that. Hahaha! Dreamboat’s got sore nips. Cracknips!