Britney’s Converting To Islam

January 13, 2008 / Posted by:

The News of the World is at it again. This week they spin the tale of Adnan the pap and how he’s a user and manipulator. File this under DUH and get me some coffee. Like we didn’t already know this shit. TNOTW can gab all day long, so the article is like a novel. Well, like a novel for us, because we don’t read. Shit a couple of paragraphs is a novel to me. Anyway, here’s the basics:

Adnan bragged to friends a couple of years ago hat he planned to steal the heart of a Hollywood star so he could secure an exclusive that would net him a fortune.

Adnan is trying to sell topless photos of Britney

She loves it when he talks dirty to her in his British accent

She has threatened to fake her own death, so she can start a new life with him in Pakistan

Adnan’s father told him to dump Britney or he’s disowned, because of his religion. Adnan told his family that he loved her and planned to marry her.

Brit told Adnan’s father, “We’re taking care of each other. He’s the only one who understands me. It’s serious.”

She loves to pop tons of bills before getting freaky in bed

Britney plans to convert to Islam, so that she can be with Adnan

Move to Pakistan?! Do they even have a Starbucks there? I think it’s a good idea though. Send that bitch to Pakistan. Trick her and tell her it’s the land of Starbucks where you can even bathe in the shit all day and all night. She’ll pack her busted boots and be there in a flash.

Nothing surprises me with her anymore, so I believe it all. She is guilty until proven innocent.

This girl is turning into Michael Jackson. Jacko considered converting to Islam too. It’s not going to be long before Brit has a pet monkey and sleeps in an oxygen chamber.

The above pic is Brit and Adnan out buying a sofa yesterday.

Image: Mr. Paparazzi

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