Matt Roloff Is A Free Man

January 10, 2008 / Posted by:

“Little People, Big World” star and overall hot bitch, Matt Roloff, was acquitted for drunken driving in Oregon today. Matt was arrested last June after failing a field sobriety test. He has been in court for the past 3 days fighting the charges.

The jury deliberated for 4 hours, but the judge found out some of them were looking shit up on the internet. Midget porn! No, they were researching terms or something like that. They were told not to do that. Instead of declaring a mistral Matt’s lawyer asked if it could be a court trial instead. The judge told the jurors they were dumb bitches and that they did a disservice to the entire legal system by not following court orders.

The state’s only evidence was the failing results of the HGN. Matt claims he was driving messed up, because it was his wife’s car and he wasn’t used to the pedal extensions. The judge declared Matt not guilty of two minor infractions of not staying in his own lane and failing to take a breathalyzer.

Free at last!!! That is the best mug shot of all-time.


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