The News of the World
(I know…I know) claims Britney Spears
has been begging KFed
to give her a second chance at love with him. A source said that she thinks if she has KFed back it'll help get her life back on track. KFed told her to step off and it apparently sent her into a deep depression. When she found out KFed was dating Playboy model and Colin Farrell's
sex tape co-star, Nicole Narain
, she flipped out and called the Befrienders suicide hotline several times. Can you imagine being the counselor on the other end?
Counselor: "Suicide help line. Before you nix it, we'll try to fix it. "
BS: "Hey y'alls. It's Britney bitch and I want to do suicides. How do I do suicides to myself? Can you text me instructions or somethin'."
A source said, "Britney's bouncing off the walls with rage and has been calling Kev day and night to check he's not with Nicole.
"She's desperately jealous and wants to keep Kevin's attention on her. She wants him back. She thinks by getting Kevin back he'll drop the custody battle—but that's not going to happen."
The source also claims that Brit was ordered by the court in a secret hearing last Friday to have psychological tests.
This is the BEST part. This friend said Brit wants to flee to Cuba with her two sons. CUBA!!!!!! Oh shit, this is so good. Honey turn off "Days of Our Lives" this is the real shit!
"She's terrified of losing her sons. There are no extradition laws in Cuba, so she thinks it's her only hope."
Because of all this drama, friends and family want Brit to join Lindsay Lohan in rehab in Utah. That's just what that bitch needs. They'll probably bump kitty cats too.
Here's Britney visiting a furniture store in Malibu yesterday. I was about to say she looks cute, but then I saw the pit stain. Yup, bitch knows how to ruin her own moment!
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).