American Britney

September 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Simon Cowell has announced that the judges of American Idol would like to take Britney Spears under their wing and help bring her back to her prime (rib). Yeah, because Paula is so sane.
Simon said, "We have decided we can bring Britney back! We are serious. We plan to buy her underpants, get her bigger shorts to perform in and get her away from her stupid friends."
"MTV ratings are up and all we're hearing is Britney, Britney, Britney!" Simon said. "She can turn it around."
Paula added, "Where's the Vicodin?!" No….she said, "We always have time for Britney, we love her."
Randy said something about dogs and yo-yo-yo and what up, but basically he said what Simon and Paula said.
Simon said earlier this week that Britney should've been pulled off from performing and that her career might be done.  
That's not what Britney needs. What Britney needs to do is to stay home, get some sleep, spend time with her family, take her meds, take a pottery class and just chill. The last thing she needs is to come back into the spotlight, because that breakdown is on the tip of her crazy.
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