August 15, 2007 / Posted by: Michael K
I was right. As soon as I posted my last Britney rumor rundown, there were 1,000 more rumors. Some are extremely hilarious. Britney getting down with coochie?! Even if it's true, I don't want to know! Have some damn decency! The last image I need in the morning is Britney pulling lady pubes out of her mouth. BARF! So here we go:
Star Magazine: Britney allegedly told her kids they were mistakes. She makes out with men in front of them and she's basically a shitty mom who tries to whiten their teeth and feeds them sugary goods.
Us Weekly: Britney drinks booze in front of her kids and strips naked in front of her staffers. Britney only hires young and fun nannies that will drink with her. She also regularly strips down in front of them and asks if she looks sexy. One nanny claims Brit made her sleep in the same bed as her with SPF.
OK! Magazine: OK! claims that Britney has hooked up with her former assistant Shannon Funk. And that on the night of the "Matt Encinas" hook-up, it was Shannon that ended up in Brit's bed. Witnesses told the mag that the two were "canoodling" topless in the pool all night. They also claim Brit hit on Jenna Jameson.
BRIT OVERLOAD!!!!! My head is going to explode into a million cheeto pieces! Expect another 500 stories by 1pm.