Bad Reviews

July 28, 2007 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan’s newest screen epic “I Know Who Killed Me” wasn’t screened for critics for a very obvious reason, it’s a piece of trash. Now that I’m reading the reviews that are trickling in, I actually want to see this piece of trash. Bad reviews are better than good reviews and Lindsay’s latest has a slew of them. Here are some gems:

“There is no way that Lohan was in her right mind when she signed the contract for this one.”

“Imagine the worst possible idea for a Parent Trap sequel that manages to combine elements of Stigmata, Dune, The Empire Strikes Back, The Corsican Brothers and Blue Man Group.”

“With sky-blue tools, gloves and mask, the killer looks so much like a member of the Blue Man Group that you expect him to spit marshmallows at his victims.”

“Having broken free of the Disney machine that molded her, Lohan now seems intent on destroying her career and credibility on her own terms.”

“After a 20 minute delay in starting the movie, I had to assume the projector was taking an ethical stand and refusing to be party to the heinous act of showing this movie”

“The film is so cheap, lurid and overwrought it could be made up of lost reels from Grindhouse, except it lacks the knowing, self-referential humor of that B-movie parody.”

The video above is what the trailer should’ve looked like.

I know what I’m doing this afternoon. Do you think the $3 movie theater is showing this yet?

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