Spoken Like A True Cokehead

July 25, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Good morning everyone and guess what?! Lindsay Lohan is innocent. Yeah, remember that drugs they found in her pocket? Well, it wasn't her! I kind of just magically got there! Poor Lindsay! Always getting "set up."
 
Lindsay issued this statement to Access Hollywood:
 
"Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."
 
Lindsay's former assistant, Tarin's mom used to be Lindsay's facialist. The cops found the two in an argument in the parking lot of the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium at around 1:30am. Lindsay was arrested.
 
She reminds me of those crackheads on "Cops." You know the ones. When cops find some sort of drugs on them, they automatically look all surprised and say "That's not mine!"
 
Hmmm….there's a little drug elf going around putting bad things in the pockets and purses of good people! Catch him.
 
That being said, Blohan is full of shit.
 
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