No Talent Competition?!?

I wasted 2 hours of my life watching Miss USA last night and I can’t get that time back. I mean, there’s no talent competition?! Basically, these girls pack on fifty pounds of make-up and take turns walking around the stage with fake smiles in various outfits. My dog can do that better than any of them. Once they are narrowed down, they are asked really lame questions and give equally lame answers.

Oprah’s former intern, Rachel Smith of Tennessee, won the crown easily. She was the smartest and prettiest, but that’s not saying much. They don’t even win a scholarship!?

Unfortunately, my favorite only placed 4th runner-up. This dumb ho couldn’t even walk around the stage right. During the swimsuit portion of the show, contestants had to walk around in circles and then stop in front of the judges to get scored. Helen Salas of Nevada didn’t even stop and kept walking off the stage. I mean, all she had to do was remember to stop. She didn’t even have to memorize any lines. This ho is hot.

During the interview portion they asked Miss Nevada to tell us the story of how she almost froze to death in Minnesota. She told this dumb story on how she was dressed in basically nothing and went to visit the Ice Castle with her friends. This dumb ho said…

“It was freezing and the WINDSHEILD factor was 50 below.”

WHAT THE HELL IS A WINDSHIELD FACTOR?! She should’ve won just for that. I’ll give her a break since she was the alternate after the former Miss Nevada was too much of a hooker and got kicked out.

Hopefully now, Tara Conner will disappear to the call girl section of our local newspapers and out of the spotlight.