I am playing a lead role in a new ABC show called Footballers’ Wives. I heard about it weeks ago but refused to go in on it because A) I don’t like football and B) I don’t play “wives”!
Never say never, eh? For the past couple of months I was having to hang up on Marissa and Eric who were desperate for me to do it. “She’s an I-D-I-O-T!!!” they bitched behind my back.
Their other best friend, Marco Penette, the show’s producer, and Mike McDonald, show executive and Rob’s colleague from Herc and Xena, days both rang me and demanded I come in and at least try the role on for size. I did and I guess it fit pretty good because five minutes after leavng the Network, I had the job. I hadn’t even fired up up the P-Bird in the parking lot.
Now Marissa is doing a little jig and they are trying to find the right guy to play my husband. Someone big, stoopid and vulnerable, please!
I am a little bewildered as to how this all came about. It has dropped out of the sky on me with all the subtlety of a falling refrigerator.
Oh, well. Clearly, I am not in control of this bus. Just riding it to the end.
We’ll see what happens.
Sources say Xena aka Lucy will play Tanya Turner, the head wife and head crazy bitch of the show. Personally, I sort of see it. I think that there’s a lot to Lucy people can’t see…like a DICK! Just kidding. I’m sure these hos sort of know what they are doing. I feel so close to Tanya since we’re both crazy, cunty, gold digging sluts! That being said, I pray Bryan Singer knows what he’s doing.