Michael Jackson Makes Out with a Dead James Brown

Michael Jackson made a rare public appearance in Augusta, Georgia today at the funeral of James Brown. Michael was greeted by cheers from the audience as he made out with a dead James Brown and then spoke. He told the audience, “Ever since I was a small child – no more than six-years-old – my mother would wake me no matter what time it was to watch the television to see the master at work. Every time I saw him move I was mesmerized. I’ve never seen a performer like JB and right then and there, I knew that was exactly what wanted I to do with my life. James Brown, I shall miss you and I love you so much. Thank you for everything.”

Michael also refused to take part in a performance of “Sex Machine” and opted to stay in his seat. His ass was probably wet from making out with James. Either that or he was getting a close look to see what kind of make-up they used to get some tips.

Jesse Jackson, MC Hammer, Al Sharpton and Tomi Ray Hyne were also in attendance.