Ok all! I’m done playing with my Anna Nicole Smith doll. It’s time for her to be put away. Seriously, it seems like every second there’s something new about this twit. Bitch is totally creating this shit herself. Actually, her puppet master, Howard K. Stern, is. I thought I’d fill you in, just in case you haven’t heard, that TMZ is reporting that Anna Nicole’s true baby daddy is Larry Birkhead. In court documents filed Thursday, a woman named Laurie Payne swears to the God above that not only does Anna Nicole use AOL Instant Messenger, but she told her that Larry Birkhead was her babby daddy in those IMs.
Laurie also said that Anna previously miscarried one of Larry’s babies. Laurie signed it and everything, so it’s like really official. This woman also said that Anna is a crackhead, which we already know. Anna loves Methadone and Xanax. I mean, who doesn’t?
So what does this do for us? Absolutely, nothing. Can they all go on Maury already and settle this like real Americans? I’m over it!!! But you know good and well I’ll be writing another lame story about them tomorrow.